Another medical laugh…

Slarti was reading me Sista Smiff’s post about what her mother said to the doctor when the lights went out.  That reminded me of a funny that all of us women will understand.  Hope you get a smile out of it too.  Yes, it was an email forward.

   POWER OUTAGE DURING A MAMMOGRAM
 
   I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, “Hi! I’m
 Belinda!” This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her
 head to one side and crooned, “All I need you to do is step into this
room right hereee, strip to the waist, thennnn slip on this gown. Everything
 clearrrr?”
 
   I’m thinking, “Belinda .. try decaf. This ain’t rocket science.”
 
   Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
 
   Call me crazy, but I suspect a man invented this machine. It takes a
 perfectly healthy cup size of 36-B to a size 38-LONG in less than 60
 seconds. Also, girls aren’t made of sugar and spice and everything
 nice….it’s Spandex. We can be stretched, pulled and twisted over a cold
 4-inch piece of square glass and still pop back into shape.
 
   With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the
left and said, “Hmmmm.
   Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get
 everything?”
 
   Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not
 use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?
 
   My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other
boob wedged between those two 4″ pieces of square glass) when we heard, then
 felt, a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off! “What?” I yelled.
 
   “Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag.” Belinda headed for
 the door.
 
   “Excuse me! You’re not leaving me in this vise alone, are you?” I
 shouted.
 
   Belinda kept going and said, “Oh, you fussy puppy … the door’s wide
 open so you’ll have the emergency hall lights. I’ll be righttttt
backkkk.”
 
   Before I could shout “NOOOO!” she disappeared. And that’s exactly how
 Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and
 part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed
 between glass! After exchanging polite “Hi, how’s it going” type
greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the
power
 was off.
 
   Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as
 possible. “Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.”
 
   “You bet, take care” Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I’d
been standing in the line at the grocery store.
 
   Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and making
 no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said. “Oh I am soooo sorry! The
 power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went
to lunch. Are we upset?”
 
   And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the
 clamps………